5 Lies You Grew Up Believing About Yourself
Have you ever heard about the fable of the eagle who grew up believing it was a chicken? Basically a baby eagle fell from its nest and was placed in a chicken coop where it was raised thinking and behaving like a chicken. Well, let me start by telling you that you are no chicken.
You see, we live in a society where we’re not just raised to believe we’re less than what we actually are, like this poor eagle, we also get bombarded with such limited beliefs everywhere we go. It’s gotten to the point where if you even think slightly more than what’s considered normal or possible, you’re deemed weird, crazy or delusional.
For example, as appealing as the freedom of flying may sound to us, it was once considered far-fetched for humans to fly. I mean, who did the Wright brothers think they were, talking about flying in some heavier than air solid object? They were just bicycle shop owners, yet they soared in their goal of flying, both figuratively and literally.
Sadly, the majority of people today still think they can’t soar in their own life. They believe they’re chickens grounded in the rock bottom of life. However, if you’re one of the few that doesn’t want to stay stuck there, consider these five lies you grew up believing about yourself so that you can spread your wings and free yourself from these lies.
• Lie # 1: You’re just an ordinary person. In the previous article we mentioned a few things that made it clear you’re not just ordinary. However, simply telling you that you’re not ordinary won’t do much if you grew up believing that you are. It’s a deep self-belief that might take a little more to get out of you. Yet, if you stay believing that you’re just average, you will actually be right about that, and your “reality” WILL be average.
You see, such limiting belief is a mere concept most people have adapted to subconsciously, and henceforth created as their perceived reality. It’s your average thinking that makes up the average you and your average life, because you create your own reality. However, in the articles ahead we’ll dive deeper into the many gems that prove you’re not just average or ordinary, rather extraordinary. I know, that sounded a little cheesy.
• Lie # 2: You’ve got too many limitations. Similar to being ordinary, a lot of people have been raised to believe that they don’t have the ability to do great things. Most people think they’re inadequate or that certain things are just not possible for them. Others believe that significant accomplishments in life require special gifts, talents or skills they simply don’t have. And the majority just have an “impossible” mindset. Yet, these beliefs couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Even if you’re not cut out for something at the moment, you can always grow into the person that can turn what’s considered impossible right now, to something possible. Great things can be acquired by learning, practicing and developing experience. Furthermore, you already have abilities you haven’t even discovered yet, some of which are unique to you, and which make you unique among others. So you basically have no competition! You’ll be surprised with what you can actually do when you realize all the things you have in your arsenal.
Another limitation is the limiting belief that there’s only one way of doing things. Who says you have to follow tradition, the trends, society, or the mainstream way it’s been done for years? Who says you can’t change things up? Look, you’re not limited to what you can do, what you should do and how you should do it. There isn’t only one right way of doing many things!
Now, one thing that can really put a limit on you if you succumb to it is fear. And it’s often fear of change, fear of failure and fear of being different that keeps people from making significant improvements in their life. They simply settle with following the crowds and giving in to the status quo. Yet, I say to you, look around you, you have 360 degrees of directions you can step towards. So why limit yourself to one way?
• Lie # 3: Your past mistakes define you. A lot of people believe that their mistakes and failures in the past reflect the person they are today. I was one of them! However, this is also totally untrue. You can use the past as a lesson, yet your past does not define you, it refines you. An eagle likely stumbled many times in the past trying to fly, yet the eagle that soars in the sky today isn’t that same clumsy chick from the past.
You’re gradually transforming into what you will become, and although that’s a pretty obvious statement, not many people contemplate on this. Yet, being conscious of this allows you to patiently make the effort to transform into what you need to be. Therefore, don’t let your imagination be contaminated with the past. You are not your past, especially if you’re striving to be better today than who you were yesterday. That’s why it helps to be in competition with yourself, constantly improving yourself everyday.
Your past does not equal your future either! What is it that they say, your past was your lesson, today is a gift which is why it’s called the present, and I’ll add that tomorrow is an even more exciting surprise that you can wrap up for yourself today. Again, you have to disconnect yourself from the idea of your past and connect with yourself today. You must realize who you really are at the present and discover the tools you’ve got with you right now so that you can build the tomorrow you want.
• Lie # 4: Your present situation defines you. Have you ever seen people with nice cars and expensive clothes? Well more often than not, most people are not exactly what they appear. Will Smith said it best when he said that people spend money they don’t have, to buy things they don’t need, to impress people they don’t like.
Some people even appear to be rich while their accounts are really poor! That’s a scene often seen in places like Miami, where tourists rent Lamborghini’s for a day to appear to have money. Yet, as much as I like Lamborghini’s, I probably wouldn’t even buy a remote control Lamborghini simply to impress my friends.
The point I’m trying to make is that the reverse is also true! Much like those that appear to have money but don’t, you may appear to be in a poor state right now, but that doesn’t define you, provided you don’t have a poor state of mind. You see, just because you’re not where you can actually be doesn’t mean that’s who you are. And it certainly doesn’t mean that’s where you will always be, unless you don’t do anything about it.
Think about the people who were very sick and fought through it with a healthy mentality. Think about the people who were very poor and fought through it with an abundance mentality. Think about the people that were overweight and fought through it with a fitness mentality. The darkness of a tunnel does not simply define the person heading towards the light of the tunnel!
If anything, you are what you think about the most, and that my friend is where you’re heading. Therefore, your present situation does not define you, it’s your mindset that does. Remember that you’re transforming, and although it may seem like a slow process, of which others might misconceive as stationary, you are still moving forward unlike many. A slow process is still progress!
• Lie # 5: People’s opinions of you define you. In life, no matter how hard you try, there’s bound to be people with a negative view of you. That’s something I’ve had to understand and learn to deal with myself. Yet, it’s no surprise that such things would happen considering there’s these things called ‘opinions’ that vary, along with people’s personalities that also vary.
Someone may think they’re right and you’re wrong simply because you think or do things differently. While others may judge you because of your past mistakes. Some may dislike you just because you’re not like them. Then there are those that will criticize you based on mere gossip, instead of facts. You’ll even have people that will judge you in just one glance. And let’s not forget your haters!
Whether they think you’re crazy, bad, irrelevant, uncool, dumb, ugly, wrong, it doesn’t matter. Let them think whatever they want because their opinion of you is simply not you. I like how Les Brown encourages not to let anyone’s opinion of you become your reality, because like he says, what people think of you really is none of your business.
Consider this, often times the people that have a bad opinion of you and especially those that criticize you are usually people that are either insecure, jealous, have nothing going for themselves, or simply have you misunderstood. So don’t feel bad for yourself regarding how they think of you, feel bad for them instead. You can and should be yourself, and you don’t have to be people pleasing all the time.
Think about this too, the dreamers and visionaries of the past were constantly misjudged, mocked and criticized. Yet, they were the very ones who created the present things that the ignorant embrace so partially now. The ignorant simply can’t see the future that dreamers can!
You see, common people only see today which was in fact manifested by the visionaries that were mocked by their grandfathers in the past. Therefore, if you’re constantly being misjudged or criticized, it could very well mean that you’re someone heading somewhere exciting. So this may actually be good signs and good news for you.
Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t use some people’s “negative” feedback to make a self-analysis and improve yourself. It might be a good idea to remember that we’re imperfect, therefore we’re bound to have flaws we’ve got to work on. What I’m simply trying to tell you is that you should never let people’s opinion, criticism or judgment of you define the person that you truly are.
And remember that just like there may be people that dislike you, there will also be people that like you, understand you, or see the good in you. You’ll attract those you need and repel those you don’t. In fact, as you’re growing, improving and transforming, some of those that were disapproving you, may actually start pursuing you.
There are actually many more lies you’ve grown up to believe about yourself that I just couldn’t fit all in one article. It would probably have been too long of a read anyway! That’s why on the next article, I will expose five more misconceptions about you that you grew up believing as “true”. So stay tuned for the next blog article on Friday, or go check it out if you’re in the future. I shall see you there!